Taco's Breastaurant

I've been thinking alot about women's breasts lately. I think about them alot anyway, but I've been obsessing over them a little more than usual after recently being exposed to soooo many mothers nursing their children in public. Normally when I see women nursing their babies in public, they are sitting somewhere like on a bus, or in a dark, secluded corner at Taco Bell, or something, but lately they seem to be getting more brazen and bold about it, like they are trying to make some sort of feminist statement. I walked into the public library awhile back, and right there in the middle of the huge lobby was a pretty young woman standing there for all to see. She was cradling her sweet baby in her arms and with her rather large, floppy (gorgeous!)titty hanging out as her babeling sucked on it in front of an audience of hundreds of people!

This was honestly a bit startling at first, simply because I am not used to seeing it. But hey, I am a dude and I like boobs, so what the hell. At first I just walked on by the nursing woman as if I wasn't at all affected by her brazen display. But then I decided to walk back and study this shit a little bit more. I got a cup of coffee out of the machine and just sort of casually took a seat at a nearby table. I slowly, comfortably sipped my coffee and watched as I felt my werewolf cock rustle a tad inside my jeans. It got a little stiff and excited, I must admit, as I pretended I was the woman's loving husband and imagined myself sucking on the woman's other boob, nursing on her hot, wet Mary milk alongside my hungry baby son or daughter, a perfect image of family love and unity, and just in time for the holidays. It would be such a beautiful picture to put on Christmas cards!

At one point the woman smiled at me. I actually blushed and felt a bit guilty for my erection. I wanted to put my werewolf mask on which I had in my backpack, to clue her in on my true wolfen nature and to "test the waters," so to speak, as to whether she was into guys like me. But something inside me told me no, that this is not about me. This was bigger than me and my stupid obsession with werewolves and body hair and boobies. This was about love and family and making a statement about a woman's right to nurse her child in public and that a single, non-family-having, never-been-married loser like me had no business getting himself involved. So after I drank about half my cup of coffee, I left and went browsing through the DVD section, perfectly content to be finished with this infatuation with mothers and their milk-squirting mammaries.

But then last weekend it all came back to me at a Los Lobos concert. I've been a big fan of Los Lobos because their name translates into "The Wolves," of course, and ever since seeing the movie, La Bamba, about the tragic rise and sudden fall of Ritchie Valens, played in the movie by Lou Diamond Phillips, with whom I have long had a sort of man-crush on. Los Lobos did covers for the songs "Come On, Let's Go" and "La Bamba" in that movie, which are excellent songs to howl and eat tacos to! But my favorite song of theirs is the sweet and sad medley called "Will the Wolf Survive?" in which the band laments over the current crisis facing many lonely wolves today as an endangered species.

So I was standing amidst the crowd at this outdoor concert. The weather was great for it being mid-November. The sun was out and it was about 60 degrees or so, with a cool autumn breeze blowing against all the writhing, dancing bodies of screaming fans. There were many Latinos there, of course, but there were also people of all creeds and races present to soak in the eclectic, brilliant songs of this prolific, ground-breaking Latin-American band. After awhile I got impatient to hear my favorite song. I put on my werewolf mask and started howling, screaming out,"Play 'Will the Wolf Survive!" I did this for awhile while dancing about, and at some point I heard someone screaming at some woman, "Hey, take that fucking kid over there to the 'Breastaurant,' bitch! None of us here want to see you feeding your fucking kid with your goddam tits hanging out!"

I turned around to see this cute Mexican chick, Luisa, that I remembered from working at Motel 6! She had been a housekeeper there but I'd never had a chance to really talk to her much. She didn't speak English real well but I'd always been appreciative of how cute she was and how hard she seemed to work for her family. She was standing there in the crowd with BOTH her boobs hanging out, cradling her baby in one hand and with what looked like a margarita in the other. She was spilling the drink all over herself and her kid as her baby struggled to latch on to her nipple and get its fill of milk.

"I tried to find my way to the 'Breastaurant' but I got lost!" Luisa said in her broken English, trying to fend off the harassment she was receiving from this older white couple that seemed to be offended by her exposed breasts.

What the fuck was a goddam "Breastarant?" I thought as my heart immediately went out to Luisa who was struggling to hold on to her baby. She was indeed very drunk, was in no condition to be caring for her child. While her tits were very enticing, large and juicy-looking with large, brown nipples, I immediately realized what was important here was the welfare of her baby. I went up to Luisa, shouted a few obscenities to the people who were giving her a hard time. I wrapped my arm around her, took her drink from her hand, and said, "C'mon, Luisa, I'll help you find this 'Breastaurant' they are talking about!"

I pushed my way through the crowd, guiding Luisa through the maze of this glorious fiesta of salsa-soaked music, inquiring here and there as to where the Breastaurant was, until eventually we reached the outer periphery of the crowd, and right underneath this huge tree stood a small tent. There was a sign in front of it that read "Mom's Breastaurant" and inside the tent I saw four or five mothers sitting in chairs, their beautiful infant children cradled in their arms as they suckled from their moms' breasts in relative quiet and seclusion. What a gorgeous sight it was! So many sets of naked titties, so many gallons of luscious Mary Milk! Luisa got so excited at the sight of it that she began to run towards it, her bulbous boobs jiggling as she barely held on to her baby, that she tripped and fell. Luckily she landed on her back as she lied there laughing, drunk off her ass, her baby lying in between her exposed breasts wet with milk, and her face wet with sweet, sugary margarita.

It immediately dawned on me that if I signed her into the Breastaurant they would realize she was drunk and report her to the police, who would have her baby taken away. I hurriedly began to help Luisa off the ground. I took her baby in my own arms and urged her to button up her shirt. "C'mon, Luisa, I'm going to walk you home," I said. "If we go into that Breastaurant, you may never see your baby again." I put my arm around this poor, beautiful drunken mother and as we started to walk away from the festivities I began to hear my song! Los Lobos began to play "Will the Wolf Survive?" as I looked into the eyes of the baby I held in my arms and wondered if it would indeed survive being raised by a struggling mother such as Luisa. Then later, as I sat in Luisa's apartment after we had put the baby to bed and I watched her drink a couple shots of tequila, I began to wonder if she had a HaIrY TacO!! HAHAHAHAHA!! And it wasn't long after I started wondering that she got drunk enough to pull down her hot little panties in front of me to let me know, that yes, she sure as fuck DID!!