A Day Of Tricks And The Unexpected Treat

Well, it's Halloween and here's to hoping that everyone has a devilishly delightful day. I hope that all your tacos are tasty and yet somehow still TerriBLE and Terrifying; that your enchiladas inspire ecstasy yet are somehow still EeRiE and ELDRiTcH and that your beautiful burritos, while tantalizing your tongue with a tinge of terrific taste at some point sit in your belly and BLIND you with their BADNESS as they shout out "Boo!" to you from the depths of your bowels before you go hooooowling into the BatHROOM! Hahahahahaha!

I'm just enjoying a weekend of finally having a little MONEY and eating REAL food, smoking decent cigarettes--my beloved Marlboro Reds(after a week of smoking cigarettes rolled up from butts I find on the street)--and watching a little football. I saw that our hometown perennial LOSERS, the Indiana Hoosiers, finally vanquished the hopes of any fans who were foolish enough (and I, admittedly, was one of them) to think that we could actually get to a bowl game this year, by losing to Northwestern here at home 20-17.

Today my beloved Minnesota Vikings play the New England Patriots. I was sooooo excited a few weeks ago when the prodigal son--and my favorite NFL player of all time--Randy Moss returned home to the Vikings, but those feelings are now mixed and I'm admittedly confused and tormented because Moss has now played in three games for them and the Vikings still SUCK!! It looks like Favre is still going to play today with the fractured ankle. Let's see how it goes. Stop throwing touchdown to the other team, Brett! That might help! LOL!

I was so broke last week that I didn't have any coffee. I was at work, at the bookstore, and I walked out into the parking lot around 8:00am. I was really jonesing for some CoFFAAAYY and lo and behold!-- I actually spied a cup of coffee out in the parking lot just a few feet away and the cup was standing UPRIGHT! "Could it be?" I thought to myself as I eagerly walked up to it, HOPING BEYOND HELL that it actually had some coffeee still in it and I can't express my delight when I found that it was still nearly FULL! Of course, I just started drinking it, paying no mind to whose cup it might have been or how many or what sort of germs I might get. I think my boss was a bit grossed out by it, but hey, the way I saw it it was just a free cup of coffee and an UNEXPECTED TREAT! The odds were in my favor that it was just a customer who had gotten the cup at nearby McDonald's, came to the bookstore, and took a few sips before coming into our store. I'm guessing it had only been in the parking lot a couple hours, tops.

Isn't it wonderful when we experience unexpected treats like that in life?

Obama And Michael Jackson Star In "Noseless"!

Michael Jackson's nose fell off on his way up to Heaven! Feeling guilty about not making a public address regarding Jackson's death in June 2009, President Obama agrees to let Michael borrow a few of his supporters' noses so that the King of Pop can smell the tacos down on earth while sitting on his cloud in Heaven! Obama even volunteers to let Michael borrow his OWN nose on occasion! Read more about it HERE or just check out this latest installment of my "Obama Taco Underwear" Painting Series below:

The Eyes In The Underwear Speak Of Unity

The "Obama Taco Underwear Painting Series" adventure continues with my latest installment, "The Road To The White House Goes Through The Dog House (The Eyes In The Underwear Speak Of Unity)". This is a commissioned painting I made for a friend. He just got a new dog, an English sheep dog, and he wanted a painting that involved him, the dog and Obama. I just mailed it out to him today so I haven't heard back from him yet on what he thinks of it. I hope he doesn't mind that I have him and Obama on all fours eating dog food. LOL. Eh, I think he'll be cool with it. It's all in fun!

My Cincinnati Baseball Adventure

Here is a picture of me posing in one of my werewolf masks in front of the "Great American Ball Park" in Cincinnati. Though I'm not really a baseball fan (I'm a football guy!), I have a friend who is a huge Cincinnati Reds fan and he needed someone to go to a couple games with him. He offered to pay for everything, including my TACOS and I was like, dude, I'll only go if I can wear my WeReWOlF MaSK part of the time!

We got a hotel across the Ohio River from downtown Cincy, in Newport, Kentucky. There is a big bridge with a walkway alongside it that goes across the river to the ball park. I originally thought it would be CooL to walk across this narrow walkway across the water into town. It was cool when I first started walking across it, but as I neared halfway down it (the walkway was about a quarter mile long) I started getting VerTiGO reaaaaaal bad and started walking faster and faster, nearly freaking the hell out as I gazed down the side of the walkway into the water. I don't know exactly how high above the water it was, maybe 100 feet or so, but it ignited something in my brain that made me not really want to walk across this walkway again! I didn't want to seem like a baby, though, so I wasn't going to say anything to my friend who lagged behind me a few feet. Thankfully, when we finally got across the river and off the walkway and he caught up with me, he said he felt the same thing, that it scared the hell out of him looking down, and that he was going to pay for us to take a cab across the bridge for the rest of our stay. Boy, was I relieved! Hee!

The baseball games, themselves, were actually kind of miserable for me. The first night we were in the "cheap seats" behind center field and it was HoTTeR ThaN FucKKKK, the sun beating down on my newly shaved bald head as sweat dripped down my face and this dude next to me's exposed ARmPit about made me gag during the whole game. The second night we had better seats, "scout seats" right behind home plate. We were in a shaded area and it was a little cooler. I got excited because halfway through the 1st inning the seat right next to me was vacant and I was like, cool, no smelly armpits tonight and I can relax and stretch out a little. But it wasn't long before I started hearing this rumbling sound of someone walking my way. Before I knew it this HUGE lady was squeezing herself against people's knees in my aisle, coming my way, and she soon PlaNteD her plentiful, gigantical RumP RoaSt right next to me and yelled at me, "You a Reds fan?! You better be!" The Reds were playing the St. Louis Cardinals so alot of their fans had actually made the trip to the game. I just despairingly said, "Yeah, I'm a Reds fan," to keep this woman from eating me the way she ate bratwursts. Around the fifth inning she ordered four or five bratwursts covered in sauerkraut, shreds of which flew out of her hands and mouth and SplaTTered on my arm and shirt as she ate them.

Oh and to top it all off the Reds LOST both of the games we saw. The whole trip, though I can't say I had FUN just became this interesting test of endurance. It got me out of town for a couple days, at least!