Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My Cincinnati Baseball Adventure


Here is a picture of me posing in one of my werewolf masks in front of the "Great American Ball Park" in Cincinnati. Though I'm not really a baseball fan (I'm a football guy!), I have a friend who is a huge Cincinnati Reds fan and he needed someone to go to a couple games with him. He offered to pay for everything, including my TACOS and I was like, dude, I'll only go if I can wear my WeReWOlF MaSK part of the time!

We got a hotel across the Ohio River from downtown Cincy, in Newport, Kentucky. There is a big bridge with a walkway alongside it that goes across the river to the ball park. I originally thought it would be CooL to walk across this narrow walkway across the water into town. It was cool when I first started walking across it, but as I neared halfway down it (the walkway was about a quarter mile long) I started getting VerTiGO reaaaaaal bad and started walking faster and faster, nearly freaking the hell out as I gazed down the side of the walkway into the water. I don't know exactly how high above the water it was, maybe 100 feet or so, but it ignited something in my brain that made me not really want to walk across this walkway again! I didn't want to seem like a baby, though, so I wasn't going to say anything to my friend who lagged behind me a few feet. Thankfully, when we finally got across the river and off the walkway and he caught up with me, he said he felt the same thing, that it scared the hell out of him looking down, and that he was going to pay for us to take a cab across the bridge for the rest of our stay. Boy, was I relieved! Hee!

The baseball games, themselves, were actually kind of miserable for me. The first night we were in the "cheap seats" behind center field and it was HoTTeR ThaN FucKKKK, the sun beating down on my newly shaved bald head as sweat dripped down my face and this dude next to me's exposed ARmPit about made me gag during the whole game. The second night we had better seats, "scout seats" right behind home plate. We were in a shaded area and it was a little cooler. I got excited because halfway through the 1st inning the seat right next to me was vacant and I was like, cool, no smelly armpits tonight and I can relax and stretch out a little. But it wasn't long before I started hearing this rumbling sound of someone walking my way. Before I knew it this HUGE lady was squeezing herself against people's knees in my aisle, coming my way, and she soon PlaNteD her plentiful, gigantical RumP RoaSt right next to me and yelled at me, "You a Reds fan?! You better be!" The Reds were playing the St. Louis Cardinals so alot of their fans had actually made the trip to the game. I just despairingly said, "Yeah, I'm a Reds fan," to keep this woman from eating me the way she ate bratwursts. Around the fifth inning she ordered four or five bratwursts covered in sauerkraut, shreds of which flew out of her hands and mouth and SplaTTered on my arm and shirt as she ate them.

Oh and to top it all off the Reds LOST both of the games we saw. The whole trip, though I can't say I had FUN just became this interesting test of endurance. It got me out of town for a couple days, at least!

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